befriend

You will die.
At some point this existence will come to an end.
Your worry won’t change that.
It’s not a problem to be solved.
It’s the reality to be accepted.
The acceptance doesn’t come easy.
You’ve made this fear your friend.
Taken it to your most sacred spaces.
It stayed up with you as a child.
It has stuck with you longer than any friend.
But it poisons you and you know it.
You won’t shake this fear off with well aimed words alone.
You must befriend trust.
Make a home together.
Let it work its way into your depths.
Until you start to trust.
Trust that good is permanent.
Trust that somehow love is at the centre of it all.
Trust will lead you in the ways of grace.
Teach you the wisdom of acceptance
Show you how to float in sea of mystery.
Your old friend will still come around.
But now you won’t be alone with him.

options

powerlessness
its behind your anger
the belief that you are stuck
and there is nothing you can do about it
so you boil over
blaming others
blaming yourself
blaming the situation
so how do you get off this merry-go-round?
find more options
its rarely just this
or even this or that
find a way to widen your perspective
stop and ask yourself
what are your options?
don’t settle for less than three
write them out if you have to
just find more options
if you sense you’re rigging the process
flesh out your assumptions
what are you taking as a given here?
is it legitimate or the work of the lizard brain?
then choose the path
sure you might get it wrong
you’ll have plenty of more choices to make
once you start seeing all your options

fragmented

they called you out
but you didn’t answer.
you tried to stay objective to stay safe
its okay to admit it.
the situation woke you up
reminded you that you’ve fragmented your life
splintered it into categories of control
the you at work
at home
with friends
when you are alone
dressing up for each occasion
forgetting what you look like
under it all
who you are
i know you can hear hostility
see rejection
taste the contempt
that is why its a radical act
to be seen
to allow yourself to be known
to stand openly before others
i know it doesn’t come natural
but its worth doing
take small steps towards intergration
to share more of you are
some won’t respect you
but you might

bias

How do you measure your capacity?

When can you determine if you have what it takes?
Admit it, you are hard on yourself.
Your bias is to sell yourself short.
To assume insufficiency.
So don’t be the only source of input when considering your capacity.
And don’t try to measure it after only one attempt.
Give it a fair go.
Seek out input from others you trust.
Seek input from those who you believe are capable.
Find other ways of observing the results.
Your emotions and perceptions matter but they are not always reliable.
Give it what you got.
Get a wider perspective.
Break the bias.
Build confidence.

dismissed

Don’t take it so personal.

They feel like dismissive words.

Motivated by the desire for quick resolution.

Attempting to remove emotion.

But they don’t help you to diagnose the pain.

On their own they don’t lead to clarity.
So build on the statement, it can be an opening.

A way to discover more about yourself and the work.
What you can change and what you must accept. 

When some one tells you to stop taking it personally add some supporting questions:

What do you feel is at stake here?

Do you think something is missing?

What do you want to change about the situation? And why?

I hope you deeply own your work.

Your emotions matter.

Discover what they are trying to tell you.

Discover what you need to change and what you need to accept.
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need

we need your gifts
hear me
i am not saying your some kind of savior
but that you matter
your talents matter
its not enough to just practice in secret
we need you to share your craft
we need you to turn your talents into gifts
into packages of hope
into artifacts of care
into signs of life
you don’t need to start big
you don’t need to nail it out of the gates
just start
then
find a way to sustain
to keep crafting
to keep sharing
to keep giving
we need your gifts

active

you missed
it happens
i know you hyped up the moment
it was all going to align
you were going to shine
then it happened
you missed
i know you were eager to prove
that you got what it takes
so what now?
was that your only shot?
i know you keep replaying the scene
studying the tapes
running back over the lines
what do you hope to find?
you know what is needed
take another shot
and another shot
i am not just talking practice
put yourself back out there
redefine success
active pursuit of your passion
keep shooting

instead

instead of beating yourself up
for feeling jealous
for wanting what another has
celebrate the clarity
your desire surfaced long enough to be seen
you caught a glimpse
now you need to pursue it
beyond this moment of jealousy
what skill do you need?
what steps can you take?
how will you stay on course
even when your desire is once again
hidden from view
and let your jealously enable you
to celebrate with your friend
your desire affirms
it’s worth celebrating

tricks

there is no pressure
they sound like empty words
to believe that the force,
the weight you feel
doesn’t exist
just some mind trick
but what if your mind is already playing tricks?
telling you that it has to go this way
has to look like this
feel like that
be something it isn’t
or else…
or else what…
what’s in the threat?
can you see it?
it’s empty
selling you safety
at the cost of yourself
there is no pressure
there is invitation
there is grace

source

A man once told you
“To be angry, one must first be afraid.”

This takes the question a step beyond
why are you angry?
to
what are you afraid of?
what is at risk right now?

do the work of getting under the surface
find out where the heat is coming from
and turn it off at the source

don’t lie to yourself
you can’t just contain it
anger always finds a way out
it always causes damage

do the work